J & F
OUR STORY
We met at the end of our junior year and became high school sweethearts. F was the star football player and J was the captain of the cheerleading squad but we never saw it coming. We were truly opposites and no one would have envisioned us together but that is where it all started. Beyond high school, we endured a long-distance relationship with J staying local at a college in Maryland and F was 7 hours away in South Carolina. We got engaged after graduating from college but J’s job forced her to work overseas for about a year and they were again separated. J planned their wedding from overseas and came back home to Maryland to get married. We experienced married life overseas, making memories along the way and never lost sight of our heart’s desire to start having a family when we returned in 3 years. Despite the distance, we made it work and have been married 16 years. From the moment we met each other, we knew that we were meant to be and shared the undying love to have a family of our own. During our time of grief, we fell in love with Great Danes, specifically spotted harlequins. We introduced our Jauko into our world a year after losing our daughter and he helped us through some difficult times. He passed in 2023 and it broke our hearts to lose him. Two years ago, we introduced our next member of the family, a Sheepadoodle named Tux or Tuxedo when he is in trouble! Our hope is to have our son and his future sibling grow up together.
OUR INTERESTS
Our house is only divided during football season since F is a Cowboys fan and J is a Redskins/Commanders fan. To make matters worse, our son picked a totally different team Kansas City Chiefs! As you can see, we are a football family. We are also movie fanatics and you can always find us in the “fungeon” (basement) on the weekends watching movie classics and playing board games. We love day trips to drivable places where we can lock in core memories. Our son is our world so he leads and we follow when it comes to family adventures. Due to our proximity to the water, we love beach hopping during the summer months.
WHAT LED US TO SURROGACY
Starting a family was always our dream once we returned from overseas. A year later, we became pregnant, and even before meeting her, our baby girl filled our hearts with love and joy. Throughout the pregnancy, J faced complications from Adenomyosis, a condition that made carrying to term difficult. Despite the challenges, every ultrasound and heartbeat brought renewed hope, especially when our baby girl was confirmed healthy.
Tragically, at 18 weeks and 5 days, J went into preterm labor. We held our beautiful daughter, said goodbye, and were left heartbroken, a pain that never truly leaves. After some time, we tried again, but month after month brought disappointment. Fertility treatments weren’t viable due to the risks posed by Adenomyosis, and surrogacy became our safest path. Our first match sadly backed out three months in. Six years of heartache passed, but we never gave up hope. Then, unexpectedly, a close friend offered to be our surrogate, a selfless gesture that reignited our dream. Though hesitant at first, we saw her as the answered prayer we had been waiting for. Over the past year, we attempted IVF ourselves, but complications, including one life-threatening event, led us to pause. Still, our desire for another child remained strong. We believe surrogacy is the safest way forward and are now searching for the right match to help us complete our family.
WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IN A MATCH
We have hoped and prayed for our future child even before going down the path of IVF. We know deep in our hearts that our future child has a distinct purpose in life and it is our responsibility to nurture our child every step of the way. We hope that our future child will be successful in anything that they choose to do in life. In every aspect of our child’s lives, we will be there to support them. Our child will know from the beginning that we rejoice in successes and that failures are okay too. We are a family that never gives up we always get back up and try again. Ultimately, we hope that our future child will have a healthy and successful life and will always strive to be the best that they can be.
FAMILY TRADITIONS AND VALUES
During our first surrogacy journey, we found out that we were having our son. J envisioned and brought to reality a mural in his room full of mountains, valleys and hills and a sun at the very top. This symbolized the incredible journey that we went through to have him from the mountains that we climbed to the “Sonshine” that we were so blessed to have. As soon as our son started talking, we taught him a song that tied to that mural and he sings it to this day! J has not thought of it yet but we will continue this tradition for our next child. In our backyard, we have a tree designated for our initials. This is our forever home and our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren will have a spot waiting for them on this beautiful tree.
We both have big families and Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Eve is always a grand celebration with tons of grandparent, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and food. This tradition carries on every year, and our extended family continues to grow.
F’s favorite holiday is Halloween and he goes all out from decorating the lawn and porch, to creepy holograms, and even matching family costumes every year. He leaves Christmas decorations to J who makes our home magical for Santa’s visit. J created a special mailbox for Santa mail which sits on our front lawn during Christmas time which allows our son and the neighborhood kids to send mail to Santa every year!
WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IN A MATCH
We hope to have open communication and an open relationship throughout the journey. During our last journey, it made all the difference. Despite knowing my friend since fourth grade, our relationship flourished even more during our journey. We had an open line of communication and both parties had the opportunity to be honest and vulnerable. Our friend was nervous about the shots and since I lived 30 minutes away, I was able to be there for her including giving her the shots. We have stayed connected 6 years later and we hope to have the same connection with our potential surrogate, if that is her preference.
EXTRA INFORMAITON
Names: J & F
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Number of Embryos: 4 PGS tested embryos
Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask
Fertility Clinic: Shady Grove
Surrogate Compensation: Medium/High
Requirements: ASRM guidelines
Could you be their surrogate?
If you're interested in learning more about J & F, send us an email at bri@thebiggestask.com - subject line "J & F".