← Back to Blog

Mary and Rob

    <div data-elementor-type="wp-post" data-elementor-id="18177" class="elementor elementor-18177" data-elementor-post-type="post">
                    <section data-particle_enable="false" data-particle-mobile-disabled="false" class="elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b514e95 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default" data-id="b514e95" data-element_type="section" data-e-type="section">
                    <div class="elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default">
                <div class="elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-bcabe68" data-id="bcabe68" data-element_type="column" data-e-type="column">
        <div class="elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated">
                    <div class="elementor-element elementor-element-7899d9c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading" data-id="7899d9c" data-element_type="widget" data-e-type="widget" data-widget_type="heading.default">
            <div class="elementor-widget-container">
                <h2 class="elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large">About Us</h2>              </div>
            </div>
            <div class="elementor-element elementor-element-9f6580c elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer" data-id="9f6580c" data-element_type="widget" data-e-type="widget" data-widget_type="spacer.default">
            <div class="elementor-widget-container">
                        <div class="elementor-spacer">
        <div class="elementor-spacer-inner"></div>
    </div>
                    </div>
            </div>
            <div class="elementor-element elementor-element-4db6ea7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor" data-id="4db6ea7" data-element_type="widget" data-e-type="widget" data-widget_type="text-editor.default">
            <div class="elementor-widget-container">
                <div class="bb-theme-elementor-wrap bb-elementor-custom-color bb-elementor-custom-family bb-elementor-custom-size">

Rob and I met in 7th grade when he started as a new student at our middle school. We instantly connected and have been best friends ever since. We started dating after high school and have been together for 13 years (married for 6)! In our downtime, we’re probably doing some sort of house project, cooking together, or spending time with our incredible friends and family. Though our personal interests are different, we complete each other perfectly. Rob is a pipeline tech and fitness enthusiast. As an avid golfer, he loves an early tee time with the guys! I work in the bridal/fashion industry and enjoy scoping out my local antique stores any chance I get. We’re constantly teaching each other things we would otherwise know nothing about, which is such a wonderful part of our relationship.

What led us to Surrogacy?

I was born with cardiomyopathy and though I remained stable my whole life, in 2008, I went into heart failure at an alarming rate. I received a heart transplant a few months later, right after my 19th birthday. Today, I am so grateful to be doing incredibly well! Even though pregnancy post-transplant is “possible”, it comes with extremely dangerous risks to mother and baby and too often creates future problems that would impact my ability to be a present and healthy mother. We also wanted to avoid passing down the genetic mutation that caused my heart condition and need for a transplant, so we pursued IVF in 2019 as it allowed us to genetically test our embryos. We knew someone who offered to carry for us at this time, so we felt like we were SO close to our baby. We did 2 cycles of IVF in early 2020 but had to cancel both due to poor response. Cycle #3, we somehow got our one (and only) euploid embryo! Unfortunately, our potential GC changed her mind, so we did 3 more cycles of IVF to try and bank more embryos to continue our surrogate search, but had no success.

After cycle #6, I knew I was done with IVF forever. I was exhausted, and just knew in my heart it was time to stop. After months of planning, we made the decision to transfer our embryo to me on 2/22/22. It resulted in a chemical pregnancy that left us crushed and back at square one. During the time we struggled to grow our family, I had been emailing my companies HR department once a year about the importance of providing fertility coverage, with no success. Only someone without it knows the added stress of revolving fertility treatments around the extremely high costs. While grieving the loss of our only embryo and incredibly difficult journey, I sent my most personal email to HR. I was met with nothing but understanding and equal amounts of frustration that we had gone SO LONG without any coverage. I worked with our benefits department to create a plan that would allow the benefits to be available to everyone… LGBTQ+, single parents, etc. A few months later, I received a call that we were getting coverage! It was such a monumental moment because this would give employees access to family planning options that might have been unattainable before. It was a game changer for us personally as it included donor eggs. We felt excitement and hope for the first time in a very long time. We jumped into the donor egg process and a year and a half later, we have multiple healthy embryos and are hoping to finally find our perfect match to help us grow our family!

What kind of relationship do you envision with your surrogate?

We would love to match with someone who is interested in a lifelong friendship with us and our family. We’re hoping to have regular communication during pregnancy and if location allows, even attend appointments, have family visits, etc. Our child’s journey will be unique and we will be open from day one about the incredible person who brought our child into this world!

Extra Information

 

  • Names: Mary and Rob

  • Location: Woodbury, New Jersey (right outside of Philadelphia)

  • Number of embryos: >5 PGT Embryos

  • Agency/Management Team: The Biggest Ask – if interested, email hello@thebiggestask.com

  • Fertility Clinic: RMA Marlton

  • Surrogate Compensation: $35,000-$45,000

The Biggest Ask Says

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine provides the following recommendations for evaluation of gestational carriers (i.e., many fertility clinics will require the following for their gestational carriers) :

  • Carried at least 1 child without complications
  • Fewer than 3 deliveries via c-section 
  • Body mass index in between 19 and 32
  • No smoking, abusing drugs, alcohol or prescription medications
  • Not receiving welfare, public housing or cash assistance from the government
  • Has a stable home life with emotional and child care support
  • No mental health conditions requiring the use of medications within the last 6 months (including depression)
  • No criminal record
Watch the following video to review the Medical and Psychological Clearance procedures that surrogates must complete.
 

No one likes to talk about surrogate compensation, but it is an important factor in any surrogacy agreement. The following is how we classify high, medium and low compensation (excluding the value of any benefits). Many factors affect surrogate compensation including surrogate experience (e.g., has the woman been a surrogate before?), whether the surrogate is signed up with an agency and surrogate preferences.

  • Low = surrogate compensation less than $20,000
  • Medium = surrogate compensation between $20,000 and $40,000
  • High = surrogate compensation greater than $40,000

You can learn more about how much surrogates get paid in our surrogacy guide’s module: “How much does surrogacy cost?”.

Could you be their surrogate?

If you're interested in learning more about Mary & Rob, send us an email at hello@thebiggestask.com - subject line "Mary & Rob". 

Send us a message